She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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