i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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