The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
