A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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