I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
