I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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