I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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