New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
