He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
