Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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