Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
