I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
