the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Barsexuality is the new black.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
ttyl tear gas
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
