I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
