"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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