He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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