hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
