im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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