Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
