I think I died a long time ago.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
