I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
