The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
