There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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