why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
