Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Sext me about skeletons
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
