They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
