So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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