Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
