just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I intend to get homeless drunk
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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