We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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