Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
