I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
