I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
