omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We got so high we made milksteak
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
