there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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