i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
