Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Randomize
