my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
