Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
