she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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