I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Randomize
