im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Randomize
