when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
