I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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