just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
