I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
