Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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