oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
