I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
