his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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