No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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