I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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